I’ve been standing most of my day,
It’s been a recent change, I seem to like it better this way.

But sleep still evades me no matter how much I tire,
I drink bandy almost every night until water becomes a desire.

Then I wake up every morning,
Thirsty for peace with all my bad thoughts crawling.

This silence and this cursed love, don’t go hand in hand.
My mornings are rough so I lie down.

Noon I wake to hard drives that wait,
For me to use my expression, to state.

From there its all downhill,
I cross paths with memories lost, and there goes my appetite, my will.

I don’t understand how this doesn’t get old,
It’s been literally the duration it lasted (once) unfold.

But I find myself somewhere in parts,
Engaging in masculine toxicity at last.

Cause the ones that I’ve chosen as friends,
Seem to have a deep desire to self-depreciate as well.

My good health as I deteriorate,
I think of my father from who it came.

Of the discipline that possessed him,
How he felt cheated to the brim.

Cause he served those who never turned back,
To see if he was satisfied, whether he lacked.

It’s hard to be a pessimist sometimes,
I guess before I express something it’ll be a while.

Thank you sir for always thinking of me,
On world photography day your message I always see.

I have so much to tell you I can’t do it in rhymes,
Perhaps I will, perhaps I won’t. I hate myself, for now, I won’t lie.

But what is undeniable is I feel my study,
Of these lands and people who frequently deny me.

Is reaching a point where the dots are quite well connected.
I wonder what’ll happen when my truths are stated.

I have to find a way to be motivated.
But I hate myself, and so when I state, it’s mostly hatred.

You are one of the people I know,
Who’s waiting for me to take the leap of faith, a seed to sow.

I think of you people quite frequently.
It’s what keeps me hungry.